Miss Teen South Carolina gets honorary doctorate degree

By M. T. Skull

Brain Dead

U[sic]GA officials announced Friday that Miss South Carolina Teen had been awarded an honorary doctorate degree for her "contribution to, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq."

Caitlin Upton, an 18-year-old from Lexington, S.C. became famous for her work on building awareness for geography education in the United States, which began during the question and answer portion of the Miss Teen USA pageant in September.

Upton accepted the honorary degree during the annual tailgate event to raise funds for Concerned Students for Universities Without Football Programs (CSUWFP).

"It is, uh, honorable to receive this honorary degree today with so much honor; I'm like, totally honored," she said.

Honorary doctorate degrees are awarded to a select number of individuals each year who have made special contributions to society. Honorary degrees traditionally waive the usual requirements, including matriculation, study, academic ability, common sense and the passing of examinations. At U[sic]GA, several thousand other students receive similar undergraduate degrees every year.

U[sic]GA football coach Mark Richt presented the award to Upton from the back of his pickup truck at an official tailgating ceremony that was attended with much fanfare and boozing.

"We are so proud to have a young lady like Caitlin represent what U[sic]GA stands for. I am glad, however, that she is not attending South Carolina since our players have requested tutoring from the now Dr. Upton for their advanced map coloring classes," Richt said.

Past recipients of honorary degrees at UGA have included Paris Hilton and George W. Bush.

"Miss Upton joins a long tradition of distinguished people who are extensively covered by the media for no real reason," Richt said.