Box offers hard woe

By Skroo Dover

Contributing Writer

So I was supposed to review this here book, but readin' is really hard. The only people that have time to read are big losers.

So I got this cereal box. It's like really red. The hardest puzzle was on the side of the box. It was white and black and it was called "Nutrition Facts." I never did figure out the answer. I think the reason why it was on the side was because only really smart people should try it.

But then I found this thing called "Daily Value" which is the prize for solving the puzzle. I think everybody should try to solve the puzzle and then try to win the big prize! But see, the puzzles on the back were really hard too, so I don't know why they made the box all bright and shiny if they make the puzzles so hard.

I hope someone from the cereal company is reading this, please make the Nutrition Facts puzzle easier! They need to make puzzles like the ones we do in class. You know, like when we write down our names. I love solving the alphabet.

The weirdest thing was when I was taking a shower and the cereal box started talking to me. I don't remember why I was showering with the cereal box, but I remember that sometimes weird stuff talks to me after my eighth or ninth beer.

Anyway, the box told me that I should wrap myself up in the shower curtain and roll down all the stairs. At first I thought it would hurt a whole lot, and I was like, "No cereal box, that'll hurt real bad," and the box was like, "Just trust me, it'll be fun" and someone else was like, "What the hell's going on in there" so to make a long story short, ambulances are really cold.

I guess my main thing is I would NOT recommend this cereal because the puzzles are hard and the cereal box will start talking and I think I ate the prize in the box.