State of the Union address restates obvious with new twist

Tuesday night's State of the Union address showed how little has changed in the past year in this country. President Bush took the stage and rattled off a speech that appeared to have been carefully cut and pasted from last year's version-almost down to the tie, which appeared to be a slightly lighter hue of blue, but still strikingly similar.

It seems that he took the route that most students select when they have the opportunity to write a paper on the same topic in two different classes in a semester; he changed it up a bit to keep it interesting, but the President did not make any large scale alterations.

As Senator Webb pointed out in his rebuttal, Bush actually made it seven in a row when it came to talking about alternatives to oil, which still sounds like a terrific idea.

So, the real question is this: what did this year's speech do to spice up last year's version? Well, there were a few major differences that should be pointed out from least to most important.

First of all, Bush changed up the order on everybody. He started out with domestic policy, instead of his Sept. 11 segue into the War on Iraq, which he saved for later. This seemed to be a good choice. Everyone started off in a much better mood, with Bush speaking on things that Americans seem to be able to agree upon. Education is good. Medical insurance is great. New jobs and low inflation are super, and I'll tell you more about that one next week. All of it was a rousing success, kind of like it was last year.

Secondly, his sole new topic addition to domestic policy-putting an end to earmarking special interest funds that no one actually approves-was a winner, as well. Most people tend to think that special interests other than their own are bad and do not need any money. After all, most of us only reside in one of the 50 states and a single one of the 435 house districts. Chances are, if there is a special interest being funded, it is somebody else's.

The third major change was the fact that Bush was speaking to a Congress controlled by the Democrats this year with Speaker Nancy Pelosi over his shoulder. He probably could have picked a better crowd, as things did get a little chilly when he launched into his annual segue from the attacks on America in September 2001 into an unrelated war.

Although the fact that this was the first State of the Union address with a female Speaker of the House may be the most historically relevant note, this addition was nowhere near the magical choice that Bush made for the end of his speech.

When he switched up the domestic and foreign policy order, I thought he might have lost it. The State of the Union preview, which was actually a press conference longer than the State of the Union itself, made it seem like Bush was going to have no other material, and I was sure the speech was going to have to end on a down note, with a closing about the War on Terror.

But then, Bush made a brilliant move. Instead of closing with actual, vague policy statements or intentions, he decided to finish like a big-time celebrity at an awards show-he reached deep into his arsenal and pulled out "the shout out."

That's right, the President decided to give not one, not two, not even three but four shout outs to end his speech in magnificent fashion. It was like his speechwriter watched last year's State of the Union, a few lame awards shows and a couple of rap videos with entertainers "hollering" out to some obscure friends and decided that this could be a perfect time to try to put them all together at once on national television.

Of course, if I had the choice between watching Boston Legal at its regularly scheduled time or listening to Bush give props to Dikembe Mutombo, I'd obviously opt for the latter every single time. What better time is there to start talking about profiles of random people than in the President's one prescribed speech to the nation for the year?

Instead of hearing five more minutes of concrete plans on how this country is truly going to address the Social Security problem or why the new plan in Iraq is any better than the current, underperforming one, I obviously wanted to hear Bush "holler" out to the founder of the Baby Einstein Company.

The stories were entertaining, but I just think they might have been slightly out of place. Of course, everyone was probably so thoroughly confused after hearing four surprise stories-all of them quite interesting-at the end of the Address, they probably forgot that the President did not tell them anything else that was new or improved. Brilliant.