Athlete diversity benefits football

The University[sic] of Georgia has once again redefined their standards for admission to help accommodate a wider variety of students.

With complaints from boosters and alumni, the athletic and admissions office felt the heat to help bring U[sic]GA out of its slump and return the program to its status as a sub-par national contender instead of over rated unranked team, where it currently stands this season.

"We really just wanted to help get more kids in. The whole academic process is so unfair sometimes. Who needs Calculus when you can run a 4.2 40? Who needs the SAT scores when you have the SEC title?" said Glada Horvat, Assistant Athletics Director of Academics and Eligibility at the school.

The school hopes to attract athletes around the nation who had previously thought that U[sic]GA's standards were too high.

"I just can't read. Coach at my school tells me it's a problem, but U[sic]GA says that as long as I can recognize an X from an O it should be all good," said Dumbo Williams Jr. the III, an offensive lineman who was immediately contacted by the school as soon as the policy change took place.

When asked if the admissions office was completely ignoring academics and only focusing on their athletic ability, Horvat saw it differently.

"I don't think so. But really, if we create a successful program and are able to get a lot of these kids into the NFL, haven't we done our job? They would be making a lot more money than all the kids enrolled here will after they get out of college, that I'm sure of," Horvat said.

Asked to elaborate, Horvat hung up the phone. He could not be reached for further comment.