Cancun teaches rules of attraction

The Office of Overseas Fun (OOF) at U[sic]GA is trying a new study abroad program in Cancun this year. Two courses will be offered, Abs 101 and Bikinis 201.

According to professional bodybuilder and OOF representative Josh Flabbyabs, the Abs 101 course will be primarily focused on how to build muscles and create six packs.

"We're taking an innovative approach to our course. The students will be required to drink a certain amount every day, since our science department has shown that the physical act of raising and drinking a can of beer greatly tones and defines abs. I've tried it personally with great success," Flabbyabs said.

The bikini course is being offered as a result of the widespread popularity of its predecessor, Bikinis 101. The new course will focus on advanced techniques of bikini wearing in order to attract potential husbands.

According to study abroad advisor Jan Airhead, the class will have wide appeal for the girls on campus.

"U[sic]GA girls are classified based on how they look in a bathing suit, so this class is perfect. It's a great follow-up to our first bikinis class, which was a huge hit when we launched it in the Bahamas last year," Airhead said.

"I can't tell you how many students have come back to me after Bikinis 101 telling me it changed their lives. We're very proud that most of the girls are now married with children as a direct result of that class."

According to Flabbyabs, it is important for students to do well in these courses.

"If they do not pass, the students will get down on themselves. We don't want our psychology department to get overloaded with students that failed a class that was supposed to make them more attractive," Flabbyabs said.

Flabbyabs said that if students failed to engage flirting activity, their final grade would drop by one letter grade. However, successful one-night stands in the Abs 101 class merit students an A, while Bikinis 201 students need to secure marriage proposals in order to earn the same grade. According to Airhead, the program is located in Cancun because it is an ideal place for students to get feedback and party.

"We want our students to have fun, and we can't let education get in the way of that," Airhead said.

Many students are excited about the classes. "Cancun will be great. They gon' teach us how to build abs by drinkin'! I been drinkin' since I wus six but I mus be doin' somethin' wrong cus I ain't got no six packs," said Bill Beerbelly, a seventh-year Mixology major.

"I can't wait. I get to lay on a beach and get credit for it? So awesome! I totally plan on hooking up with some rich guy and getting married while I'm there. I mean, who can refuse me after Bikinis 201? And it's like, someone's got to pay for all these hard classes I'm taking, right?" said Lilly Sleeze, a second-year Hair Straightening major.

However, some students are worried about the difficulty of the study abroad program. "It sounds hard-beer and bikinis for a whole summer? I wanna go, but I gotta keep up my 1.0 GPA," said Kurt Nobrain, a fifth-year Recreation and Leisure Studies major.