Dog book mandatory reading for new freshmen

We, the students of the University [sic] of Georgia, has choosen our favorite book of all time.

This book has it all: drama, action, suspense, love, but most importantly, a big, red dog.

The book, if ya ain't done guessed it yet, is Clifford the Big Red Dog.

And last Thursday, the English Department decided that they were gonna make next years freshmens read this book over the summer, and then come back to school and talk about it.

I think this is cool, cuz you can only have so much fun with your cuzzins and goats before you get chafed and need something else to do until the keggers start back in Augustober.

We can forgive him for not being a bulldog. I mean, nobody hates goats just because they're not bulldogs.

At least Clifford is a dog, and you've got to admit, he has an amazing fashion sense.

The story starts with a little girl going to get a puppy for her birthday.

Already, you like this girl. What better present is there than a dog. She chooses the runt of a puppy litter.

Now, I'm sure most people would question her judgment here.

First of all, why would you want a dog that ain't no bulldog?

And C, why would you want one that is small.

It turns out she weres a smart one, though, because Clifford begins to grow lots more than anyone expected him to.

In fact, he grows to over 25 feet tall.

That's bigger than the broadside of a barn.

However, this becomes a problem because the little girl lives in the city, and, as we all know, there ain't no place for a big dog in a city.

Luckily, the girl's parents arent reall observient, and they sees how much their little girl kin loves that hound, and so they decides to move to the country.

This one seemed like a no-brainer to me. I mean, if you have a ho-down in a city, it usually means somebody got shot.

This is a great book for any U[sic]GA students, faculty or aluminums.

The only problem is that the book has a fairly high reading level.

There are words on several pages, which kinda got me cunfuzed at ferst, buy I called my sis, and she came over and we "studied".

Alright, ye got me. She got to learning me some stuff that they dont really teach in books, and i jus' gave up.I never really figured out what happened, and my sis couldn't neither.

But this Clifford books got pictures, and there's lotsa red, so I think its cool.

I think if the words start to confuse you, the pictures will help you figure out what's goin on. If not, tutoring sessions will be provided for free on Monday nights in the library from seven to nine.