Theatre program performs O.C. reruns
By Ilene Dover / Student Publications
The Department of Theatre and Film Studies has decided to run twelve miniplays reenacting The O.C. reruns in lieu of Shakespeare.
The U[sic]GA Department of Theatre and Film Studies has announced its lineup of theater productions for this coming spring, and boy is it a doozy.
According to Doug Benson, head of the department, they will be running twelve mini-plays over the course of the year reenacting the entire previous season of "The O.C."
"Look, we're sick and tired of trying to figure out what the hell is supposed to be going on with this Shakespeare crap." Benson said. "It's all a bunch of nancy boys running around in tights talking about bees and putting donkey heads on. Do you have any idea how much trouble we got in with those PETA bastards? I mean, how the hell else were we supposed to get a donkey's head?"
Benson is referring to a 2004 incident in which several area farms were raided by theater majors in search of costumes for the Fall production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
"So we decided, 'screw it.' It's not like anybody comes when we do that ye oldy[sic] crap anyway. Plus, this way, we don't even have to read scripts. We can just watch the DVDs until every word of the show is burned into our brains. Hell, half of us have already done that anyway. We're going to get one of those nerds from Tech to play Seth Cohen anyway. We can take care of the self-obsessed girls and guys ourselves."
Benson later shared that these elite few would likely be getting the leads.
Despite widespread cries of pandering to the lowest common denominator within the theater community at large, students and professors at U[sic]GA are delighted by the addition of "The O.C." to the Spring line-up.
Dr. William Levinway, a professor within the department hailed the decision.
"I'll level will you. I always hated that artsy stuff. Who needs some high fallutin' bull turd play about some crappy salesman when we could be watching total hotties get nekkid on the beach?" said Levinway.
The primary qualification listed on the casting fliers being posted around campus is "No Fatties."
Though this obviously disqualifies the hopeful U[sic]GA cheerleading squad, other sorostitutes around campus remain optimistic.
